Something Different
By Drizzt
My last editorial was a little bit off the wall, and this one
might be even more so. I would like to expand (sort of) on
Christian Warrior's editorial of horse or jack-***. I agree
totally with him about the phobia deal, and think that it's one
of the major flaws in the game. In my opinion Epona is the
latter, a jack-***. I think that the even if the horse isn't
going to go over the root then she should just stop, instead of
rearing up on her back two feet for ten seconds. I think that
that horse is the most annoying thing in the game. There are
other things in the game that annoy me as well. One is the lack
of comedy. Has anybody played a really funny game lately? I
haven't. I thought games were supposed to be fun. All Zelda is is
pointless violence. I think Link and Ganon should be friends.
Maybe go fishing together and have a couple of beers, or
something like that. There is that convient fishing pond just a
few minutes from their houses. Speaking of how the ! pond is so
close, that's another thing that I don't like about Zelda: It's
too small. Don't give me any arguments saying that it's huge or
anything because let's face it, it's not. Sure, Hyrule field is
pretty big but what's the point. I would have probably liked the
game better if you didn't have to romp through that huge field
everytime you wanted to go somewhere. I would have preffered a
warp spell, to that jack-*** of a horse. The only reason it took
any time to finish was because you had to keep going through that
endless wasteland of grass, and those skeleton things, to get
where you need to go. I think the one good thing about Zelda was
the music. It's enjoyable. What's up with the golden scale? You
waste hours of your time sitting in some tiny fishing pond just
so you can catch a big enough fish to get a little piece of a
heart container. Wow! You can dive really deep! Good boy Link! Do
you want a cookie for that? That brings me to my final point of
the i! tems. What's the point in having an item that you will
onl! y use once in the game? Is there any point in the game where
you actually need to use Bombchu? I've never once used one of
those little guys, and it hasn't ruined my experience of Zelda at
all. Then theres some other items that I honestly can't remember.
That's about it. If you read the whole thing down to this point
then Congratulations! You win a cookie. Ask Ice for payment.
He'll probably take these lines out though. The fact of giving
away a few cookies scares im probably. Sorry about the typos. I
leave you now with some of my favorite quotes.
"Run you pigeons it's Robert Frost!!!"
"Albatross"
And a poem--(not Zelda related but cool anyway)
INVICTUS
Out of the night that covers me
As black as pitch from pole to pole
I than whatever Gods may be
For my unconquerable soul
Under the failed clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud
And under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody yet unbowed
It matters not how straight the gate,
Or how charred with punishment the scroll
I am the master of my fate
I am the captain of my soul
I just think that's a cool poem
For Ice: I know it's kind of long, and you can edit it or
whatever. Sorry about the cookie thing. I though you might get a
kick out of it though. Call it an inside joke. By the way, I
don't know where he got it but that guy in France is the one that
showed me that poem. Pretty Cool huh? If you see any typos I
guess you can correct them. It would probably be better if you
left 'em in there. It might make it a little bit funnier. Do you
guys normally check for typos? This editorial sucks. It's just
something I decided to do so that I wouldn't have to start on my
homework 'til later. I actually started writing it in class. The
"Albatross", and the "and now for something
completely different" were stuff that I got from Monty
Python, In case you wanted to know. That's about it. It's really
long, huh?
