Character Comparison

By Princess Virgo

Now, I know that you already have a Zelda 5/FF8 Comparison Editorial,
but, this isn't just a comparison of the games. This is a CHARACTER
Comparison. Mwe he he. Which characters are the better?

This is the first time my opinion isn't biased, because all 3 games I'm
comparing (Z5, FF7, FF8) Are my 3 favorite videogames made. Heh heh heh.

Lets compare the main characters from each of the 3 games.
Cloud and Squall are pretty much exactly alike, only Squall seems to
care more about everything. He's more like a real teenager. Cool.
Link, on the other hand, is... well... Hmmm... "..." comes to mind. Now,
I have nothing against the medieval hero, but I think Squall wins this
one. Link doesn't really have a mind of his own.

The first female character that I can compare will have to be Quistis
(FF8), Aeris (FF7), and Saria (Z5). Why? Well, all 3 don't get the guy.
"I gave up as soon as Rinoa came into the picture." -Quistis.
And Aeris dies (Oops. Spoiler.). And Saria sort of dies (and destiny
keeps her away from Link. Darnit.) But the best character? Well... this
is a big tough one. (All 3 are my favorite female characters in the
game). I'm going with Saria on this one. Quistis was a manic depressive,
and Aeris was kind of pushy. Nice, but pushy. Saria was calm, quiet,
sweet, and she wasn't all over Link.

Next characters that come to mine are Rinoa, Tifa, and Zelda. Neither of
them I like all that much, (except maybe Rinoa.) All 3 were the main
female figures in the game (except maybe Tifa). Of all of them, I
disliked Tifa the most. And she was a moron for hiding her feelings
toward Cloud. Rinoa was really childish at times. Zelda was the youngest
of all of them, and she acts most mature. Pah, go figure. Zelda is the
winner.

I guess next in comes Mido, Seifer, and Rufus. All these 3 characters
are the main characters original enemy. Mido and Seifer compare more
(for various reasons). Now, I hate Mido. But annoying as he may be, he's
not a crybaby like Seifer, and neither of them have cool hair. Mwa ha
ha... Rufus was conceited, but so were the Kokiri and the *ssh*l* (Yes,
I mean Mido and Seifer). And Mido didn't die for an honorable cause.
Rufus was killed by a giant monster. Rufus had a cool pet named Dark
Nation. Rufus is the winner.

The next comparison is between, Cait Sith, Zell, and Darunia. All 3
share simiarities (that I won't go into for the sake of time and
sanity). Now, not to diss Z5, but Darunia sucks. Bad. Automatic
eliminations: Am I fair or what? MWA HA HA- anyway... Cait Sith and Zell
are awesome characters. This is a tough one. Zell is a trash-talker, and
Cait Sith is just plain kick-ass. Cait Sith is my favorite FF7
character. Heh. Cait wins!

Next comparison: Cid, Cid, and Deku. No, that isn't a typo. I mean, Cid
Highwind (FF7), and Cid Kramar (FF8). Now, I hate Cid K. Sorry, I really
do. So, he's Directly Eliminated. Highwind and the Deku are, well, not
really all that similar. Both are pretty smart, and Cid H., well, is a
funny ol' pilot who's pretty compassionate. Highwind wins.

The next comparison is between Irvine, Vincent, and Impa. Ok ok, so Impa
is female and the other 2 are male. But they share a lot in common. All
3 are pretty skillled fighters, and they all have had troubled pasts.
(Irvine has a fear of pressure, Vincent had Hojo problems, and Impa is
the last Sheikah). All are often cast in shadow. But Impa was...
well...Impa. Irvine was kind of feminine. His intro, the hair... eh...
well... Irvine is eliminated. Vince was awesome. Vince may have had long
hair, but Vince could transform into big-ass monsters. And Vince had the
best quote around.
"The eternal battle does not take place in the light of the Heavens, but
in the depths of the earth."

Battle of the Valley Girls. Yuffie vs. Selphie vs. Ruto. Selphie wasn't
so bad. Ruto was a b**** to put it lightly, and Yuffie was.. Yuffie...
Instant victory for Selphie.

Red XIII against Nabooru against the Moombas. Well... the Moombas
weren't a major character, but they came from a tribe, like Red. Red was
pretty cool, but Nabooru kicks ass. Nabooru was skilled, and she hated
Ganondorf (and many Gerudos). Red hated the Gi Tribe, and Hojo. But
Nabooru had the power of Spirit. Red had the power of the Cosmos. Both
are pretty awesome powers, but Nabooru takes the prize.

Next: Laguna, Zack, and Kaepora Gaebora. (The owl). I like all 3, and I
love Laguna's Theme. (If you've ever heard it, you'd agree). All 3 are
VERY mysterious. Squall becomes Laguna in his dreams. (Quote: "Yeah, I
dreamt I was a bumbling idiot." -Squall). There's a big mix up with Zack
and Cloud. And K.G.'s past is all screwy. My favorite character of the 3
is probably Laguna. The theme... the theme...

Now for the baddies. Fujin/Raijin, The Turks, and Koume/Kotake come to
mind. All of these characters were hilarious, somewhat annoying, and you
eventually fought them (if not numerous times). Now, both Fujin and
Raijin were on my hate-list. They were funny, y'know? FUNNY. They were
hard to beat, y'know? IMPOSSIBLE. And... of course... NEITHER OF THEM
COULD TALK! My god! If Raijin said y'know one more time I was going to
bash his head in! And Fujin always talked in caps and with one word
answers! ARGH!
Anyway... the Turks were cool. Tseng died (shame). Reno was a drunk
(heh). Rude was bald (Cue-ball). And Elena couldn't shut the hell up for
5 seconds (annoying). So... Koume and Kotake win. Definitely.

Next is The ShinRa execs, The Various Bosses in Z5, and Galbadia. I
hated all the ShinRa execs. "Gyaah ha ha" and "Kya ha ha" (Heideggar and
Scarlet) were extremely annoying. I compare the Proud Clod (their
creation) to Bongo-Bongo. I hated Galbadia Garden. Twas hard. The winner
is the Z5 Bosses. None of them were highly overweight and had an
obsession for lard. (Thank god).

And the last bosses. Ganondorf, Ultimecia, and Sephiroth. Now, both
Sephy and Ulti's intentions were very different from Ganon's. Those 2
wanted to DESTROY the world, not TAKE IT OVER. And Sephiroth was misled.
It's a sad sad story. Ganon was annoying. His laugh sucked. 'Geh heh
heh'? What the hell is that? Sounds like Heideggar on crack. Ultimecia
had her ideas, but what IS the point of a Time Compressed World? Nothing
but confusion. And if you want to find out, talk to that annoying French
Dude in Esthar (If you can understand him). And Ultimecia is...
slutty... and so are all the sorceresses in FF8. Blech. Sephiroth.. had
the eyes... heh heh heh... Seph is the winner.

Ok, to make a long story short (too late), here's the tally: Zelda and
FF7 tied with 6 wins a piece. FF8 fell behind with only 2 wins. Did you
expect a straight win? Yes? Too bad. Heh. Call me insane (You're only
speaking the truth). Maybe I've been listening to this song too much.
(Kazeni Nari Tai is addictive. Damn). See y'all around. Sayoonara!